“Setbacks” seems to be the name of the game, and often I cannot help but wonder if “excuses” is a more appropriate term. At times I was too distracted to feel “down” or “depressed”, but that distraction made working on anything all the more trialsome.

At the same time, the distraction and setbacks were just what I needed. The final draft of the script has just been finished. It may seem ridiculous that I only now completed it after having scrawled out the first draft at the end of May, but there was so much in that original version that I was unhappy with. The script was confused, jumping between topics and diving too deep into elements that didn’t really say anything. I combed through bit by bit, applying both major and minor rewrites, growing ever more worried that this video was going to be an abysmal failure.

Then I found myself experiencing some pretty rough lower-back pain. Too much time sitting for my job throughout the week combined with long hours sitting in barely cushioned chairs at the coffee shop had done a number on me. An additional affliction guaranteed great discomfort for two weeks time. Little game playing had gotten done as I first spent my leisure watching E3 coverage and minimizing the discomfort of my body. I was barely able to concentrate on my job during the day, let alone spend what free time I had on the script.

Two weeks of almost no progress, and sandwiched between sessions of Eh! Steve! Once the pain had subsided, my weekend was largely taken up by a wedding and TooManyGames, where I hosted a rather haphazard panel I was unable to properly prepare for. I was lucky to edit the E3 episode of the podcast on time.

The concern and panic that shook me during my panel at TooManyGames must not have been reflected from my eyes. Seeing an entire room filled with people interested in my topic of JRPG mechanics, I at first felt excited only to become anxious that every word I spoke only bored the audience. By the final stretch, however, we found many curious as to our opinion on certain games or certain trends, and while some were certainly eager to flee the panel once the doors opened others were filled with laughter at our jokes, glad to put forward their own opinions, and even awaited us outside for further discussion.

Even if the majority of that room had been bored, there were people that valued what I had to offer.

To be fair to the folks at the door, we had largely dismissed everyone before I suddenly remembered I wanted to get a photo. Still! Look at all those people that came to listen to what I had to say!

During my physical discomfort I was able to reflect on my script and ideas and come up with a new approach to my arguments. It was that panel, however, that has reminded me that I have at least some worthwhile knowledge of game design to pass on, and that I can do so confidently.

My panel cohort and I already want to arrange other such talks in the future, with a pattern that emphasizes audience interaction more. Presentations will be prepared ahead of time to provide some visual assistance.

First comes the videos, though. It’s easy to get lost in numbers and see the success of others, becoming disheartened by the great unknown you might lack. However, even if I do not have the greatest following or numbers I know there’s an audience for what I have to say, no matter how small.

The majority of video capture for Iconoclasts had already been completed, and I just need to snag a couple more samples of other video clips for the final product. I am immediately ready to begin recording audio, and once that is edited I can jump right into the video. It will be completed in the month of July, that much I can assure you.

As to what after? Time is finite, and I am unable to resist the siren’s call of the new despite having several familiar titles I yearn to revisit. I had already begun progress on Tomb Raider and wish to its sequel before Shadow of the Tomb Raider releases in September. I will likely start Rise of the Tomb Raider in the next week or two, and which means that will be the video following Iconoclasts. I look to revisit my initial impressions in this blog post, to see if I maintain that opinion or if perhaps my feelings have changed.

Now that the script for Iconoclasts is finished, I can begin contemplating the design and narrative of the Tomb Raider games as well as their mechanics. That, perhaps, is the danger of playing the first game despite working on another’s script. Often times my mood and curiosities will be focused on what I’m currently playing rather than what is behind, which makes it harder to recall and clearly piece together a new draft. In this instance, it wasn’t much of a problem.

If fortune smiles then the Rise of the Tomb Raider video will be a much lighter effort mentally. What I move onto after… well, I’ll worry about that when I get there. If fortune grins, I can not only complete four videos this year, but potentially a fifth.