The Expendables
Seeing The Expendables was a lot like seeing Alien vs. Predator. Sort of. Actually the two experiences were very different, but the end result tended to be the same.
I think I need to explain.
When Fox was releasing all the featurettes and previews for Alien vs. Predator I was a lot less jaded. I had fewer expectations of my entertainment as long as they provided me with a bare minimum of fun. If you could surpass Jurassic Park 3 then you were good. I knew Paul Anderson would write a horrible story, but I didn’t really care. After all, I was expecting to film juggernauts to be on the silver screen for the first time. I would see the Alien and the Predator clash head to head!
My brother and I had walked out of the theater not disappointed, but delighted. Yeah, the plot was trash, but it was so worth it to see an Alien’s tail plunge and skewer through a Predator, or to watch one of the extraterrestrial hunters do a slow-motion spin in the air as he jabbed his spear into the head of the Queen. It was excellent and it truly delivered. In fact, we had gone to see it a second time!
Then the initial fun of the action wore off. We began to realize that there were maybe, like, three major fight scenes in the entire film. Were there even thirty minutes dedicated to the Alien on Predator combat? Just how much plot is there anyway?
In truth, while the fights were fantastic, the film was a let-down because it lacked the presence the two movie monsters required for such a major clash. Where the star beasts should have been center stage they were instead second fiddle to the lame ass human fodder (sounds like a major problem with another major franchise). What should have been one of the greatest movies ever is instead just another popcorn flick. It’s not legendary at all and has no place alongside the rest of the films.
The Expendables suffers from the same sort of problem. From the start it’s been pegged as not only a revival of the 80’s style of action film, but to be one of the greatest ever with its stellar all-star line-up. Yet until the final act, it feels as if there’s a whole lot of no-one in this film. In fact, Randy Couture and Terry Crews don’t really do anything until the final twenty minutes of the damn movie.
What we instead have is a film that spends quite a bit of time trying to develop characters in some manner as if it’s trying to imitate a level of depth it doesn’t have. Stallone leads a group of mercenaries whose primary job is killing, stakes out a job that he then decides isn’t worth it, but because there’s one girl worth staying and saving he needs Mickey Rourke to tell him that if he wants to save his soul he should go back and get the job done and take out the villains.
If Stallone wanted to make an action film with such a cast and attempting some form of redemption plot, he needed to add a bit more screen time. As it is, it feels more like Stallone and Statham take center stage with Jet Li and Dolph Lundrum playing side kicks while guest starring Terry Crews, Mickey Rourke (who does nothing more than talk), Randy Couture and Steve Austin. Oh yeah, and a special guest appearance by Bruce Willis and Arnold Schwarzenegger.
Now this isn’t to say that The Expendables doesn’t deliver an amoeba-like sense of joy. It’s a stupid film, but it’s a fun film. Yet just as Alien vs. Predator has no place with the remaining titles of its franchise (though it’s at least better than Alien Resurrection), The Expendables has no place beside Die Hard or Terminator 2. It is fun right now, but in the long run there’s nothing it really contributes to the genre or film at all.
I think perhaps my greatest complaint of all is the complete misuse of Terry Crews. The guy is great for comic relief or for characters that can make you laugh while simultaneously creeping the shit out of you. Unfortunately the character does none of this until…well, when you see it, you’ll know it. One particular scene where Terry is blazing guns and glory. You’ll laugh for joy at the sight, but once it is over he goes back to having almost nothing.
Of course, I couldn’t just close out without also bringing up the use of shakey-cam. For all the martial arts and physical combat in the film, Stallone seems to think the best way to convey it is by having the camera shake all over the place. I shall never understand why directors insist on this. Yeah, it makes some fights look a lot less choreographed or staged and thus more believable, but at the same time you can’t really tell what is going on. Multiple times throughout the film I’d lose track of who is doing what and where during fights. It is a horrible technique that gets in the way of some actually pretty fun and entertaining combat.
Which basically sums up the entire film. It’s a lot of great potential that is simply handled incorrectly. Instead of being an homage or the greatest action film ever, it merely becomes just another fun action flick. However, the film does have sequel potential, and while I’m not one to promote more repetitive slop just for the sake of an extra spoon full, I do believe in second chances.
Just next time, get some real villains. Does anyone else remember Gary Busey? Guy works great as an insane maniac, and the best possible villain is a complete psycho that lacks all morality. Not someone that’s a prick for the sake of being a prick, but looks at chaos and destruction as amusing and even fascinating. Sort of like The Joker from Batman. So if I were Stallone, I’d start working on a script for Expendables 2 with Gary Busey as some sort of insane villain, the sort that can take over an insane asylum, and make sure every major actor gets plenty of screen time as to be the best action film ever.
